My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
I watched a sermon by Francis Chan about this yesterday. We are so bombarded with incoming information that we are encouraged or even expected to quickly respond to. Sometimes it's people in person. Sometimes it's on the phone or internet. We always quickly shoot a response back, as though we were ready in advance. We speak quickly, sometimes almost before the other person is done speaking. We quickly return emails or text messages. I don't know anyone who really stops and thinks before responding. Really, I don't.
Part of this is rooted in pride. Well, I believe all sin is rooted in pride. However, the desire to be heard more than to listen is pretty undeniably pride. I do this all the time. Sometimes I feel like my brain has already processed what the other person is saying, and since I feel I don't need any more information from them, it's my turn to talk. Wow. Of course, I don't think it in so many words, but that's basically it. Your turn, my turn, your turn, my turn... The scary part is if we are quick to speak, we are also quick to become angry. I know that I need to work on my patience and tolerance. It would be safe to say that it's all stemming from my pride.
I'm reminded by Francis that we should be more interested in listening, in waiting for the other person to speak out of genuine interest. "I really want to hear what's on your heart or mind." How often do we really try to understand someone else - not just what they're saying but what's behind what they're saying? I should be listening first, for the message and for their heart. Doesn't that make perfect sense? Yet most of us don't even think about doing that.
I talk too much. That's the bottom line. So my focus now is to listen. When I speak, it should be with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12) - not out of some selfish need to be heard.
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