Yesterday my three-year-old son and I went to the park. Yes, it's nearly the end of November and we went to the park. It was 70 degrees outside! How could we pass up that opportunity? I'm often struck by the sweet innocence of his curiosity and interactions with the world around him. Though the adult mind is leagues above that of a toddler, children are a reflection of who we are, who we will always be.
My son is curious about the world around him, and he doesn't abide by a schedule or timeblock to explore that world. He lives in the moment. We should all be so wise. The time he takes to inspect his shirt, play with a stick, or look for just the right rock to take home is done with unapologetic and undivided attention. Sometimes I call him molasses because he moves about that quickly at times. Yet I can't help but adore and even envy that kind of disregard for Father Time. He will not be rushed. Whether he is taking his time to climb into his car seat or he's too busy playing to be disturbed by my requests or even to go to the bathroom, my son relishes each moment. He doesn't even have to be particularly engaged or busy. His imagination and curiosity is at work, and he gives himself all the time in the world to entertain it.
After we had gone to both parks near our house (oddly enough, they are across the street from one another), the trek home takes as long as the rest of the trip does. I tried to manipulate my poor son by making a game of it. "Let's run all the way to the sidewalk!" "Yeah!" was his eager reply. It would be a fine plan...if we didn't have to run past dandilions. Not the bright yellow version; the white, puffy ones. My son cannot leave them untouched if he sees it. And if he sees one, he's on the hunt for all the others...in the world. He cleared half the field of these dandilions. It must have taken 20 minutes to go 100 yards. He just wants to pull the white, puffy part off. Then he moves on to the next. The excitement in his eyes, and all over his face, as he spotted another and yet another one was precious. We should all find joy so easily.
Yet while I watched my son pick apart the stem of one of the fluffy weeds, it occured to me that while he was thoroughly engaged in the moment, it wasn't a very worth-while activity. Don't get me wrong. It was fun and adorable, and I had great joy and peace in watching my son find such enjoyment in the moment. How often do we do the same thing? Though God smiles down on us in our enjoyment, how often do we spend an inordinate amount of time doing something completely unimportant. We may even believe it to be important, but just like my son picking apart a weed, we too find ourselves in wasted moments.
I do think there's a difference in the two situations. For my son, it is exploration of a new world for him. He has no bills to pay, no laundry to fold, no thank you cards to write, and no friend to call just to catch up. Exploration, in any form, is his job right now. However, our weeds tend to be television, the internet, not calling those dear to us to say "hello". We waste many moments doing something unimportant, like picking apart weeds.
Children are a precious reflection of who we are. We can learn so much from them. We should learn to be more like them rather than forcing them to be like us. In all of our years, we have spent too much time picking apart weeds rather than developing our character. Sometimes we find that the weeds have overrun our lives and must pick them out of our lives. Those "weed" moments pollute our souls. Why on earth would we want our children to be more like that? We can learn a lot from their sweet innocence and pure character.
Today, live in the moment. That's a difficult thing for me to do. I'm very "future" oriented. However, it's imporant to relish each moment. Take your time today and discover the peace it brings to your life.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
A Cup of Coffee & A Grateful Heart: a sure cure for stress
I think I've been stressing too easily lately. There must be a root cause. Yes, I have change coming my way and there have been worrisome signs in my pregnancy. However, those are just circumstances, not reasons for stress. In addition, I've been having some really awful dreams lately. Really awful. All of those things cause my body to stress and cause the worrisome signs in my pregnancy. In a moment like this, I need a cup of coffee and a grateful heart.
As I sit here with my hot cup of coffee, breathing in its comforting aroma, I have a lot to be thankful for. My little boy is pure joy. Sure, he's a toddler and he does toddler things, but his heart is sweet and his disposition is joyous. Something as silly as him walking into my room in the morning with a silly grin on his face as he says, "I pee pee'd," it makes me giggle. (He's potty trained but still sleeping in his diaper. He knows he didn't need to potty in his diaper, but he did just to be silly.) This morning he also had a (pretend) owie on his ankle. The excitement on his face when I brought him a little tigger band-aid was precious. I so wish we could live our entire life as easily impressed and pleased.
My husband is a wonderful man. He has his flaws as we all do, but I'm always so proud of him and proud to be his wife. I wish I could be more grateful for him. I'm far too easily annoyed with things he does. I don't carry a grateful heart with me each moment we're together. However, the horrible dreams that I've had over the last few weeks always involve losing him. Not that our relationship ends but that something awful happens to him. I wake up in the middle of the night nearly trembling and either scoot over to him or grab on to him. I know that he has no idea how much I love him...because I don't show it well most days. That, I must change.
The joy of all joys is in my Savior. He, who is jealous for me, is always there for me. He is always working for the good in my life. He is constantly molding me, refining me so that I may be the reflection of Him who created me and loves me most - the most Holy Lord. I desire nothing more than to be with Him. One day, He will call me home and my joy will be overwhelming. There is no word for that joy. I don't deserve His love, which makes it that much greater. He doesn't require me to be worthy of His love - He just gives it. The joy I receive from Him fills my heart and body with warmth and my eyes with tears.
No matter my circumstance, no matter my location or occupation, all I truly need is the Lord. Without His presence, my life is nothing. With His presence, regardless of any other factors, all that I do is golden for no other reason than the fact that He is with me.
Today, dwell in His love. Be filled with joy because you are loved by the most wonderful, holy, perfect, merciful, gracious, compassionate Lord. He is jealous for you.
As I sit here with my hot cup of coffee, breathing in its comforting aroma, I have a lot to be thankful for. My little boy is pure joy. Sure, he's a toddler and he does toddler things, but his heart is sweet and his disposition is joyous. Something as silly as him walking into my room in the morning with a silly grin on his face as he says, "I pee pee'd," it makes me giggle. (He's potty trained but still sleeping in his diaper. He knows he didn't need to potty in his diaper, but he did just to be silly.) This morning he also had a (pretend) owie on his ankle. The excitement on his face when I brought him a little tigger band-aid was precious. I so wish we could live our entire life as easily impressed and pleased.
My husband is a wonderful man. He has his flaws as we all do, but I'm always so proud of him and proud to be his wife. I wish I could be more grateful for him. I'm far too easily annoyed with things he does. I don't carry a grateful heart with me each moment we're together. However, the horrible dreams that I've had over the last few weeks always involve losing him. Not that our relationship ends but that something awful happens to him. I wake up in the middle of the night nearly trembling and either scoot over to him or grab on to him. I know that he has no idea how much I love him...because I don't show it well most days. That, I must change.
The joy of all joys is in my Savior. He, who is jealous for me, is always there for me. He is always working for the good in my life. He is constantly molding me, refining me so that I may be the reflection of Him who created me and loves me most - the most Holy Lord. I desire nothing more than to be with Him. One day, He will call me home and my joy will be overwhelming. There is no word for that joy. I don't deserve His love, which makes it that much greater. He doesn't require me to be worthy of His love - He just gives it. The joy I receive from Him fills my heart and body with warmth and my eyes with tears.
No matter my circumstance, no matter my location or occupation, all I truly need is the Lord. Without His presence, my life is nothing. With His presence, regardless of any other factors, all that I do is golden for no other reason than the fact that He is with me.
Today, dwell in His love. Be filled with joy because you are loved by the most wonderful, holy, perfect, merciful, gracious, compassionate Lord. He is jealous for you.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Waiting for God's Sovereign Hand part 3
I accepted the job! Furthermore, I told my boss and the rest of the office. So now it's smooth sailing.
It was much easier to accept the new job than it was to confess that I will be leaving my current job. Initially, the thought of giving my boss my resignation was painful. I thought I might have a small heart attack. I know how much his job relies on my job, and I was terrified at the thought of him having to go through the process of interviewing, hiring and training a new person. He will be just fine. I know that. More so, I had been praying for God to give me comfort, courage, and sight. Of course, God has pulled me through this entire process. I would say that He's led me, but I think it's equally fitting to say that He's pulled me through. I just held on to Him and said, "I can't do this. I'm not strong enough, but I believe in You and trust You. I'll go where You go, but You're going to have to drag me through this." And He did.
I had been praying for weeks that He help me with the words to say to my boss. I didn't rehearse anything except my first line, "I've been offered a position somewhere else, and I've decided to take it." From there, I relied on God. God, you gave me my mouth, now please give me the words. After I said those words to my boss, I cried through the rest. I told him it had nothing to do with him, the firm, the money, or the work environment. It is simply that I am passionate about the work being offered to me, and I believe that God is leading me there. I told him how much I've grown at this job, which is so true! I've never grown so much in any other position. And had it not been for this job, I would not be as prepared or qualified to do this next job. In the grand scheme of things, God has led me to all the right places to fine tune different skills - all in preparation for this wonderful opportunity, which is no doubt preparation for something else.
I will be here for two more weeks. Then after a long weekend thanks to Thanksgiving, I will start my new job. It will be exciting to walk in that first morning and get acquainted with the people, the environment, and my workspace. I get giddy over workspace details. Where will I put my pens? What will my calendar look like? Where and what will I store? What does the chair feel like? How does the keyboard feel? It's nerdy. I'm well aware of that. But pens, calendars/planners, keyboards, and computer programs really excite me. I suppose that's why I do what I do. Also exciting, the dress code is not business casual! I don't mind dressing up once in awhile - I rather enjoy it. But I'm not so crazy about dressing up every day. I would really like to wear jeans to work. And now I will be able to! That's a blessing in itself, as small as it is.
It truly is just the beginning. God has not led me to the end of the road but rather the beginning of a new road. There is much to encounter along the path. I'm looking forward to it. I welcome the unexpected, even when it's challenging. That is what makes the journey so exciting. Down this path, I'm sure to experience joy and happiness as well as tears and frustration. I will rejoice in God's goodness, and when it's hard I'll cling to him and say, "I'll go where You go, but You're going to have to drag me through this." And He will.
It was much easier to accept the new job than it was to confess that I will be leaving my current job. Initially, the thought of giving my boss my resignation was painful. I thought I might have a small heart attack. I know how much his job relies on my job, and I was terrified at the thought of him having to go through the process of interviewing, hiring and training a new person. He will be just fine. I know that. More so, I had been praying for God to give me comfort, courage, and sight. Of course, God has pulled me through this entire process. I would say that He's led me, but I think it's equally fitting to say that He's pulled me through. I just held on to Him and said, "I can't do this. I'm not strong enough, but I believe in You and trust You. I'll go where You go, but You're going to have to drag me through this." And He did.
I had been praying for weeks that He help me with the words to say to my boss. I didn't rehearse anything except my first line, "I've been offered a position somewhere else, and I've decided to take it." From there, I relied on God. God, you gave me my mouth, now please give me the words. After I said those words to my boss, I cried through the rest. I told him it had nothing to do with him, the firm, the money, or the work environment. It is simply that I am passionate about the work being offered to me, and I believe that God is leading me there. I told him how much I've grown at this job, which is so true! I've never grown so much in any other position. And had it not been for this job, I would not be as prepared or qualified to do this next job. In the grand scheme of things, God has led me to all the right places to fine tune different skills - all in preparation for this wonderful opportunity, which is no doubt preparation for something else.
I will be here for two more weeks. Then after a long weekend thanks to Thanksgiving, I will start my new job. It will be exciting to walk in that first morning and get acquainted with the people, the environment, and my workspace. I get giddy over workspace details. Where will I put my pens? What will my calendar look like? Where and what will I store? What does the chair feel like? How does the keyboard feel? It's nerdy. I'm well aware of that. But pens, calendars/planners, keyboards, and computer programs really excite me. I suppose that's why I do what I do. Also exciting, the dress code is not business casual! I don't mind dressing up once in awhile - I rather enjoy it. But I'm not so crazy about dressing up every day. I would really like to wear jeans to work. And now I will be able to! That's a blessing in itself, as small as it is.
It truly is just the beginning. God has not led me to the end of the road but rather the beginning of a new road. There is much to encounter along the path. I'm looking forward to it. I welcome the unexpected, even when it's challenging. That is what makes the journey so exciting. Down this path, I'm sure to experience joy and happiness as well as tears and frustration. I will rejoice in God's goodness, and when it's hard I'll cling to him and say, "I'll go where You go, but You're going to have to drag me through this." And He will.
Following Jesus...in his gray car
The other morning while I was driving my son to daycare, I'm not sure what started it but, according to Matthew we were following Jesus in his car - his gray car. I couldn't say that the car in front of us was gray, but according to Matthew Jesus' car is gray. It was such a cute demonstration of a child's imagination and the precious things that they say. As a mother, I was just thrilled that he came up with some story about Jesus all on his own.
One of my initial reactions to Matthew's excited chirps about Jesus' car way out in front of us was that Jesus is never that far away. I don't have to chase Jesus, He lives in my heart. As I strive to follow Jesus, He is walking that journey with me. Even when I'm not paying much attention, He's there. When I am distracted by the world or my own sin, He is there being ever so attentive to me.
We don't follow Jesus in his modest, gray car. We follow his glorious Spirit. The fun thing about following Jesus in his car is that it's sort of like a chase, an adventure. Do we follow his Spirit in the same way? Are we excited by the chase?
Today I challenge you to follow Jesus with that same excitement. Curiously and eagerly seek him out...gray car and all.
One of my initial reactions to Matthew's excited chirps about Jesus' car way out in front of us was that Jesus is never that far away. I don't have to chase Jesus, He lives in my heart. As I strive to follow Jesus, He is walking that journey with me. Even when I'm not paying much attention, He's there. When I am distracted by the world or my own sin, He is there being ever so attentive to me.
We don't follow Jesus in his modest, gray car. We follow his glorious Spirit. The fun thing about following Jesus in his car is that it's sort of like a chase, an adventure. Do we follow his Spirit in the same way? Are we excited by the chase?
Today I challenge you to follow Jesus with that same excitement. Curiously and eagerly seek him out...gray car and all.
Monday, November 8, 2010
He is the Same in Good Times and in Times of Loss
Our first appointment with the doctor was not a pleasant one. I knew that I hadn't been feeling quite right. While I realize that I've only experienced one pregnancy all the way through and the all pregnancies are different, call it mother's intuition but I knew that something was wrong. The short of it is that my progesterone level was low and my hcg level was "alright". Not like, "it's alright if you come over tonight," but more like, "passing a class with a 'C' is alright." On top of that, the baby is measuring about a week behind and the heartbeat was low. I have another sonogram scheduled this week to make sure that baby is growing and the heartbeat speeds up...or to determine that the baby is not growing.
Best case scenario is that I'm earlier than I thought and though my progesterone was low, the doctor has put me on supplements which have made me feel a ton better (and stopped another alarming symptom I was experiencing). So best case, we will see at this appointment that the baby is growing, the heartbeat is speeding up and the progesterone is working.
Worst case will be that I will miscarry regardless of the supplements.
Either way, this doctor has given me hope. I don't expect that he can save this pregnancy if it's not meant to be. Only God can truly preserve life. If it's not meant to be, there's nothing anyone can do. However, if it's all because my progesterone was low, then there is hope that this baby will go full term and we will have a new member to our family.
Of course, I have struggled greatly with this. I don't want to get too attached, but I don't want to be negative about it. I can't accept that it might all be okay because I know that it might not. While I don't want to experience another miscarriage and go through the heartache and disappointment, I know that I can and will get through and, most importantly, that God still reigns on high. Maybe that sounds like some sort of cheesy, preachy bit, but it's true.
As I was singing in my car on my way back to work after lunch today, the words of the song reminded me that 1) I've done this before and God is still loving and His kingdom still intact and 2) if I have to go through it again I can still rejoice in the fact that He has saved me and it is not the end. I find great joy in knowing that He is unchanging, always loving and merciful, and that His kingdom is unshakable.
Even if I miscarry again, I know that He is with me, and I can rejoice in Him. I will still worship and the Spirit will still come into my heart to give me joy and hope for the future. No matter what happens, I will still be in the love of God.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us fromt he love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)
So whatever the outcome, God will receive my praise. Lord, make my life an offering of praise, no matter the circumstance.
Best case scenario is that I'm earlier than I thought and though my progesterone was low, the doctor has put me on supplements which have made me feel a ton better (and stopped another alarming symptom I was experiencing). So best case, we will see at this appointment that the baby is growing, the heartbeat is speeding up and the progesterone is working.
Worst case will be that I will miscarry regardless of the supplements.
Either way, this doctor has given me hope. I don't expect that he can save this pregnancy if it's not meant to be. Only God can truly preserve life. If it's not meant to be, there's nothing anyone can do. However, if it's all because my progesterone was low, then there is hope that this baby will go full term and we will have a new member to our family.
Of course, I have struggled greatly with this. I don't want to get too attached, but I don't want to be negative about it. I can't accept that it might all be okay because I know that it might not. While I don't want to experience another miscarriage and go through the heartache and disappointment, I know that I can and will get through and, most importantly, that God still reigns on high. Maybe that sounds like some sort of cheesy, preachy bit, but it's true.
As I was singing in my car on my way back to work after lunch today, the words of the song reminded me that 1) I've done this before and God is still loving and His kingdom still intact and 2) if I have to go through it again I can still rejoice in the fact that He has saved me and it is not the end. I find great joy in knowing that He is unchanging, always loving and merciful, and that His kingdom is unshakable.
Even if I miscarry again, I know that He is with me, and I can rejoice in Him. I will still worship and the Spirit will still come into my heart to give me joy and hope for the future. No matter what happens, I will still be in the love of God.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us fromt he love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)
So whatever the outcome, God will receive my praise. Lord, make my life an offering of praise, no matter the circumstance.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Waiting for God's Soverign Hand part 2
I've been offered the job that I interviewed for last week. Tomorrow, I will sit with someone at the church to get the official offer, completed with pay and benefits explaination. From what I understand, it is all good. It's all very, very good. God has truly led this entire process. It is amazing to see it all at work in my life.
Usually, the more you find out about a job the more you find that you don't like. In this case, the more I learn the more I love it! Yes, there's still a lot that I don't know, but my view is that God has led this. This is where God is moving me, so that's where I will go - whatever that means. However, God is pouring out His blessings to me and my family through this job opportunity.
Also, He has greatly calmed my nerves. When I interviewed for the job I could only think how terrified I was to tell my boss that I'm leaving. While I still don't enjoy the idea, I know that it is an opportunity to exercise my faith. By sitting in such an awkward position for me (and knowing what it will do to him), I am relying on God's sovereignty. We are called to follow Him. If I want my life to be molded by Him, I have to be willing to do what He calls me to. And if I know that He is a good and righteous judge, I know that I can trust Him completely - with my family and with my boss's family. I can trust that God will provide for my boss as well. He will be just fine without me.
A friend of mine also brought up a good point - this could be a wonderful opportunity for me to share my faith with my boss, in a way that would have never happened if I stayed here. The explaination for me leaving lies in my love for God and desire to follow Him. Not that you have to work at a church to follow God, but in my case it is an incredible opportunity to follow where I think He's leading me. Outreach and missions is my passion. God has led me to a place where I can work in that area. Leaving this job is a testimony of what God can do. It's a small example, but to someone who may not know God it could resonate more loudly.
I will never know how my boss will take my leaving. Quite honestly, if he's furious about it, that is not my concern. I'm not leaving this job out of spite or ill will. I'm leaving because God is moving me. If my boss doesn't take it well, that's between him and God. I don't mean that to sound callous. All I mean is that I'm much more responsible to moving as God is leading than I am to making or keeping my boss happy. I can't be, and am not, responsible for my boss's reaction, though I pray that he will find peace in it.
I say all of this with great peace and trust. My future is in God's hands, and I trust no one more than He. There's no telling what the next year will hold, or what the next five years will hold. It's an exciting adventure when you're being led by the One who loves you most of all and is the most glorious in all the universe and beyond.
Usually, the more you find out about a job the more you find that you don't like. In this case, the more I learn the more I love it! Yes, there's still a lot that I don't know, but my view is that God has led this. This is where God is moving me, so that's where I will go - whatever that means. However, God is pouring out His blessings to me and my family through this job opportunity.
Also, He has greatly calmed my nerves. When I interviewed for the job I could only think how terrified I was to tell my boss that I'm leaving. While I still don't enjoy the idea, I know that it is an opportunity to exercise my faith. By sitting in such an awkward position for me (and knowing what it will do to him), I am relying on God's sovereignty. We are called to follow Him. If I want my life to be molded by Him, I have to be willing to do what He calls me to. And if I know that He is a good and righteous judge, I know that I can trust Him completely - with my family and with my boss's family. I can trust that God will provide for my boss as well. He will be just fine without me.
A friend of mine also brought up a good point - this could be a wonderful opportunity for me to share my faith with my boss, in a way that would have never happened if I stayed here. The explaination for me leaving lies in my love for God and desire to follow Him. Not that you have to work at a church to follow God, but in my case it is an incredible opportunity to follow where I think He's leading me. Outreach and missions is my passion. God has led me to a place where I can work in that area. Leaving this job is a testimony of what God can do. It's a small example, but to someone who may not know God it could resonate more loudly.
I will never know how my boss will take my leaving. Quite honestly, if he's furious about it, that is not my concern. I'm not leaving this job out of spite or ill will. I'm leaving because God is moving me. If my boss doesn't take it well, that's between him and God. I don't mean that to sound callous. All I mean is that I'm much more responsible to moving as God is leading than I am to making or keeping my boss happy. I can't be, and am not, responsible for my boss's reaction, though I pray that he will find peace in it.
I say all of this with great peace and trust. My future is in God's hands, and I trust no one more than He. There's no telling what the next year will hold, or what the next five years will hold. It's an exciting adventure when you're being led by the One who loves you most of all and is the most glorious in all the universe and beyond.
Precious Child: God give me patience
My son is three years old. He is a sweet, precious, funny little kid. The apple of my eye. My cuddle bug. I miss him all day and can't get enough of him when I'm with him. My heart leaps simply with thoughts of him.
At the same time, he's an ornery, little bugger. He is in full swing of testing mommy and daddy until we're about to beat our head against the floor. Last night at dinner, Chad prayed that he and I would have patience with Matthew and give him the love he deserves. I believe that God blessed us with patience last night as we, once again, struggled through the bedtime routine.
Matthew has a chart for bedtime. On that chart is brushing teeth, going potty, changing into jammies, reading a story, turn off the light, mommy tells a story, then...the really tough one...he has to stay in bed - both at bedtime and through the night. That box is regularly left blank. Last night, however, he got every box checked off! He slept in the full-sized bed in the guest room, which will be his shortly - both the bed and the room. He slept better, and so did mommy. Hallelujiah!
So what was the key to our success last night? God's grace, with mommy and daddy. I had read an article yesterday on babycenter about disciplining a toddler. They are tough. Unfortunately, too often mommy and daddy lose their cool. Last night, I knew that what needed to happen was calm yet decisive cause and reaction. I left the discipline in Matthew's hands - based on his actions, there is a (natural) reaction. If he stacked the magazines he just flung across the room into a pile, then he could have a bedtime story. If he chose not to stack them in a pile then there would be no story. It was his choice. Of course, he didn't do so well with it the first time - he tried to ignore what we were saying by trying to put them back in the bag. This would have been harmless except we know him. It was a stalling technique. Since he didn't get his way, he hit daddy a few times, which meant he had to sit in time out. He tried getting up about five times. Rather than yelling at him or demanding that he listen, I calmly picked him back up and put him in his spot. After about four times I told him that every time he got up I would put him back. The same thing at bedtime, whenever he got out of bed I took him back. It's amazing that the answer is quite rational. Stay calm and just follow through. Too often our frustration leads to us getting upset and trying to find the quickest route, which is never a good solution. Calm follow through. That's the answer.
It is by God's grace that we were able to have a good night last night. Mommy and daddy don't deserve God's help, but He is gracious, good and loving. Also, for Matthew's sake, mommy and daddy need to be straightened out. Now God, please help us continue down this path.
What peace God's wisdom brings.
At the same time, he's an ornery, little bugger. He is in full swing of testing mommy and daddy until we're about to beat our head against the floor. Last night at dinner, Chad prayed that he and I would have patience with Matthew and give him the love he deserves. I believe that God blessed us with patience last night as we, once again, struggled through the bedtime routine.
Matthew has a chart for bedtime. On that chart is brushing teeth, going potty, changing into jammies, reading a story, turn off the light, mommy tells a story, then...the really tough one...he has to stay in bed - both at bedtime and through the night. That box is regularly left blank. Last night, however, he got every box checked off! He slept in the full-sized bed in the guest room, which will be his shortly - both the bed and the room. He slept better, and so did mommy. Hallelujiah!
So what was the key to our success last night? God's grace, with mommy and daddy. I had read an article yesterday on babycenter about disciplining a toddler. They are tough. Unfortunately, too often mommy and daddy lose their cool. Last night, I knew that what needed to happen was calm yet decisive cause and reaction. I left the discipline in Matthew's hands - based on his actions, there is a (natural) reaction. If he stacked the magazines he just flung across the room into a pile, then he could have a bedtime story. If he chose not to stack them in a pile then there would be no story. It was his choice. Of course, he didn't do so well with it the first time - he tried to ignore what we were saying by trying to put them back in the bag. This would have been harmless except we know him. It was a stalling technique. Since he didn't get his way, he hit daddy a few times, which meant he had to sit in time out. He tried getting up about five times. Rather than yelling at him or demanding that he listen, I calmly picked him back up and put him in his spot. After about four times I told him that every time he got up I would put him back. The same thing at bedtime, whenever he got out of bed I took him back. It's amazing that the answer is quite rational. Stay calm and just follow through. Too often our frustration leads to us getting upset and trying to find the quickest route, which is never a good solution. Calm follow through. That's the answer.
It is by God's grace that we were able to have a good night last night. Mommy and daddy don't deserve God's help, but He is gracious, good and loving. Also, for Matthew's sake, mommy and daddy need to be straightened out. Now God, please help us continue down this path.
What peace God's wisdom brings.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Blessed, Worrisome Numbness
I'm feeling numb lately. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm feeling spiritually numb while I worry about things that are not within my control. At the same time, I know that my family is enormously blessed. We're going through this time of change and moving forward. I know that all the things happening are good. Why is it that I have a more difficult time accepting that good things are happening than accepting the bad?
I'd like to partially chalk it up to pregnancy. Our bodies have a way of making it blatantly clear just how weak we are. I feel drained...of everything. Since I feel drained, I am drained physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet I know that God can make Himself known to pregnant women. And He is but not in a feel-good kind of way. Through the blessing of this pregnancy, through our marriage, and a future job transition which will put me right where I need to be to do the work I have dreamed of doing, He is making Himself very apparent. We are abundantly blessed.
What do I do in thanks? What have I done? I have not spent more time with God. I have spent less with Him. I have not even thanked Him appropriately. He works for all good things in my life, and I'm half asleep. I'm annoyed with my lack of zeal and thanksgiving.
God is merciful, and in this time where my brain is foggy and my body half asleep He continues to bless me and forgive me. Lord, please forgive me.
I'd like to partially chalk it up to pregnancy. Our bodies have a way of making it blatantly clear just how weak we are. I feel drained...of everything. Since I feel drained, I am drained physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet I know that God can make Himself known to pregnant women. And He is but not in a feel-good kind of way. Through the blessing of this pregnancy, through our marriage, and a future job transition which will put me right where I need to be to do the work I have dreamed of doing, He is making Himself very apparent. We are abundantly blessed.
What do I do in thanks? What have I done? I have not spent more time with God. I have spent less with Him. I have not even thanked Him appropriately. He works for all good things in my life, and I'm half asleep. I'm annoyed with my lack of zeal and thanksgiving.
God is merciful, and in this time where my brain is foggy and my body half asleep He continues to bless me and forgive me. Lord, please forgive me.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Creation Waits...
For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we are saved.
Romans 8:19-24a (ESV)
I've been sitting on this passage for a couple of days now. It's amazing to me that creation is longing for the day that God will free it from bondage - in direct correlation to God's adoption of his children. It eagerly awaits when God will reveal the sons of God. Wow.
I don't have my Study Bible with me right now, but I imagine that this passage can be talking about two different things.
1. Jesus Christ freed creation from the bondage of sin and overcame and will overcome the penalty of sin for those who love him.
2. With each person who passes from death to life (either in this world - as bound by sin - or when one physically dies and gains their eternal life), creation rejoices in God's glory.
This passage reminds me that God's plan of salvation is about so much more than us. Yes, He loves us and wants to redeem us back to Him. However, His plan of salvation is about His glory and goodness. There is no God like the Almighty, Holy God. He not only deserves our worship just for being God (something that falls on the deaf ears of a rebellious and defiant culture), but He deserves our worship and love because He is a loving, holy, wonderful God. And creation is eagerly awaiting His plan to be revealed.
The events and problems in our life absolutely will not compare to the reality of God's glory when we see it. Do we live our life in light of that truth? It's so easy to get sucked into our daily ordeals or the pain in our life. Yet when we dwell on our pain we are forgetting God's goodness. When all we can think of is our troubles, we are making this life more about us than about Him.
To those who don't truly know God's goodness, that statement sounds as though Christianity is about being insignificant. The truth is that we are so much more significant but only through Christ. As a child of God we are infinitely blessed. As a child of God we should be humbled by that, not prideful or arrogant. Followers of Christ are humbled by His humble example - He humbled himself even to death on a cross as Philippians reminds us. Yet in our humility we find much greater joy than if we were to make much of ourselves and our circumstance. There is no greater love and peace than to rest in His love.
Romans 8:19-24a (ESV)
I've been sitting on this passage for a couple of days now. It's amazing to me that creation is longing for the day that God will free it from bondage - in direct correlation to God's adoption of his children. It eagerly awaits when God will reveal the sons of God. Wow.
I don't have my Study Bible with me right now, but I imagine that this passage can be talking about two different things.
1. Jesus Christ freed creation from the bondage of sin and overcame and will overcome the penalty of sin for those who love him.
2. With each person who passes from death to life (either in this world - as bound by sin - or when one physically dies and gains their eternal life), creation rejoices in God's glory.
This passage reminds me that God's plan of salvation is about so much more than us. Yes, He loves us and wants to redeem us back to Him. However, His plan of salvation is about His glory and goodness. There is no God like the Almighty, Holy God. He not only deserves our worship just for being God (something that falls on the deaf ears of a rebellious and defiant culture), but He deserves our worship and love because He is a loving, holy, wonderful God. And creation is eagerly awaiting His plan to be revealed.
The events and problems in our life absolutely will not compare to the reality of God's glory when we see it. Do we live our life in light of that truth? It's so easy to get sucked into our daily ordeals or the pain in our life. Yet when we dwell on our pain we are forgetting God's goodness. When all we can think of is our troubles, we are making this life more about us than about Him.
To those who don't truly know God's goodness, that statement sounds as though Christianity is about being insignificant. The truth is that we are so much more significant but only through Christ. As a child of God we are infinitely blessed. As a child of God we should be humbled by that, not prideful or arrogant. Followers of Christ are humbled by His humble example - He humbled himself even to death on a cross as Philippians reminds us. Yet in our humility we find much greater joy than if we were to make much of ourselves and our circumstance. There is no greater love and peace than to rest in His love.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Grace and Hormones
My husband is wonderful. I find that I'm just a bit of a grouch around him lately. I know why, but that doesn't make it any less annoying. Being pregnant makes you a little crazy sometimes - at least it does me. I really don't want it to get the better of me. I'm praying for God's power to change my heart and behavior despite the craziness going on inside of my body.
My husband has been not only tolerant but gracious. When I get annoyed (over absolutely nothing), he doesn't make a big deal over it and at times doesn't even acknowledge it. Furthermore, he is loving to me. That's grace. When your wife is having almost uncontrollable mood shifts and you are loving to her, that speaks volumes of grace.
I've been hard on him - making poopy faces and noises at him. Very mature. But he has been loving and kind. So I need to pull my act together. I want to love him as he deserves to be loved.
My wonderful husband.
My husband has been not only tolerant but gracious. When I get annoyed (over absolutely nothing), he doesn't make a big deal over it and at times doesn't even acknowledge it. Furthermore, he is loving to me. That's grace. When your wife is having almost uncontrollable mood shifts and you are loving to her, that speaks volumes of grace.
I've been hard on him - making poopy faces and noises at him. Very mature. But he has been loving and kind. So I need to pull my act together. I want to love him as he deserves to be loved.
My wonderful husband.
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