I accepted the job! Furthermore, I told my boss and the rest of the office. So now it's smooth sailing.
It was much easier to accept the new job than it was to confess that I will be leaving my current job. Initially, the thought of giving my boss my resignation was painful. I thought I might have a small heart attack. I know how much his job relies on my job, and I was terrified at the thought of him having to go through the process of interviewing, hiring and training a new person. He will be just fine. I know that. More so, I had been praying for God to give me comfort, courage, and sight. Of course, God has pulled me through this entire process. I would say that He's led me, but I think it's equally fitting to say that He's pulled me through. I just held on to Him and said, "I can't do this. I'm not strong enough, but I believe in You and trust You. I'll go where You go, but You're going to have to drag me through this." And He did.
I had been praying for weeks that He help me with the words to say to my boss. I didn't rehearse anything except my first line, "I've been offered a position somewhere else, and I've decided to take it." From there, I relied on God. God, you gave me my mouth, now please give me the words. After I said those words to my boss, I cried through the rest. I told him it had nothing to do with him, the firm, the money, or the work environment. It is simply that I am passionate about the work being offered to me, and I believe that God is leading me there. I told him how much I've grown at this job, which is so true! I've never grown so much in any other position. And had it not been for this job, I would not be as prepared or qualified to do this next job. In the grand scheme of things, God has led me to all the right places to fine tune different skills - all in preparation for this wonderful opportunity, which is no doubt preparation for something else.
I will be here for two more weeks. Then after a long weekend thanks to Thanksgiving, I will start my new job. It will be exciting to walk in that first morning and get acquainted with the people, the environment, and my workspace. I get giddy over workspace details. Where will I put my pens? What will my calendar look like? Where and what will I store? What does the chair feel like? How does the keyboard feel? It's nerdy. I'm well aware of that. But pens, calendars/planners, keyboards, and computer programs really excite me. I suppose that's why I do what I do. Also exciting, the dress code is not business casual! I don't mind dressing up once in awhile - I rather enjoy it. But I'm not so crazy about dressing up every day. I would really like to wear jeans to work. And now I will be able to! That's a blessing in itself, as small as it is.
It truly is just the beginning. God has not led me to the end of the road but rather the beginning of a new road. There is much to encounter along the path. I'm looking forward to it. I welcome the unexpected, even when it's challenging. That is what makes the journey so exciting. Down this path, I'm sure to experience joy and happiness as well as tears and frustration. I will rejoice in God's goodness, and when it's hard I'll cling to him and say, "I'll go where You go, but You're going to have to drag me through this." And He will.
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