The Gift of New Life

Nothing is as precious, as fragile and amazing as a new life.  When a woman becomes pregnant, it is a tremendous gift and miraculous process, full of endless possibilities for something to go wrong.  The fact that most babies complete this process and are born healthy is nothing short of God's miracle.

I miscarried over a year ago, as I've previously blogged.  It was shocking.  It was so, so early in the pregnancy, and the final answer (if there ever could be one) was that it was most likely rejected due to a chromosomal error.  Though there was absolutely no reason to believe that I would have trouble conceiving again, my body went absolutely wacky...for about a year.  So due to the miscarriage and the crazy year, I lost trust in my body and questioned whether I would conceive again - or be able to yet for quite some time.

I am now 5 weeks pregnant, and there are no signs that anything is wrong.  I've read when a woman gets pregnant after a miscarriage she will be uneasy until she passes the time of her last miscarriage.  I have passed that time and I can say that some relief has come, but overall I have a hard time getting attached just yet.  I even forget that I'm pregnant at times.  Usually my reminder is when I eat - or am hungry or tired.  I'm just reluctant to admit to myself that things might actually be okay.  Not to be pessimistic, but because I was devastated last time.  I suppose I'm subconsciously protecting myself.

I think I'll feel better still once I see the heartbeat on the first ultrasound at 8 weeks.  At this point, my only confirmation is a missed period and two lines on a stick.  That should be a lot, but despite some minor pregnancy symptoms I feel normal.

If this little person is to be a new blessing to our family, it is quite miraculous indeed.  It will be a joy to add another little one to our family.  Matthew will be a wonderful big brother, and Chad and I are better equipped to be parents now than we were the first time around.  It's a gracious gift from God to be a parent.  I feel so blessed to have all that we do, and I try to enjoy the thought because it could be my last pregnancy.  Only God knows.  Truly, the only thing I care about is if the baby is healthy.
But we have family members secretly praying it's a girl.  :o)